Spilling the beans

On August 24th (which was also the kids first day of school, so you can image my state of mind) the door bell rang and could have quite possibly changed our lives forever. I had actually been waiting on a package and I assumed it had finally arrived. I ran to the door with a HUGE smile on my face as I saw the Fed Ex man standing on our porch, I swung open the door and said, 'Hollie?!'. The man greeting me with a big smile, looked down at the package and I watched his smile fade. 'DARN!', I said....I knew then my surprise had not arrived! The man said sweetly, 'Robert?'....well not what I was expecting, but OK.

I took the package and knew something was up immediately.

'The US Department of Army' in bold lettering.

As my heart pounded I riped open the envelope to see 'Mobilization Packet'. This wasn't good. Any time in the past we have received anything from the military it has come through regular mail....not Fed Ex. I immediately call Robbie and he agrees this isn't what we wanted or needed to hear, but says he will look at it when he gets home.

To understand this a little better I will give you the history. Robbie joined the Army Reserves immediately following September 11th (how ironic, since we just passed the 8 year mark to that very sad day). He felt lead to do so and I supported him 110%. I was so proud and honored to be his wife. He went through basic training and AIT school and was apart from Kole and I for about 6 months (he missed all the fun beginning pregnancy stuff! I got pregnant with Alexie right before he left). After returning, he went one weekend out of the month for duty for three years. The last (almost) four years he has been inactive, which means he could still be called up, but he doesn't do anything. His time with the military ends Feb. 2011....we were so close.

While he was active he would be told all the time, 'get ready....you will most likely be called up in the next 6 months...12 months....18 months'. And I thanked God every time we passed one of those milestones and he was not called up (for selfish reasons obviously!). I also trained myself not to stress about it because I would get all worked up and stressed and then nothing would happen. So even after these papers came on Aug. 24th, I really wasn't worried. My mind was used to going into survival/numb mode. What I didn't realize right away is this was the real deal. He has never been called up, so I had no idea how it would happen. The paperwork seemed so matter-of-fact, like it wasn't even a big deal. Like my husband leaving his family for a long period of time was just everyday kind of stuff. I still don't know how people do it. Although, I know people do. And worse, there are father's serving who don't even get to be there for their child's births or see the first year of their life. Being this close, just makes you realize how much we take for granted all of those serving our country while we sit back and just live out life.

As of now, Robbie is set to leave Oct. 4th....as in three weeks from now. And the worst thing is, we don't know much. He will go to Ft. Jackson for no longer than 25 days for processing stuff. And then be gone for no longer than 404 days (don't know where).

There is a tiny bit of hope in all this. Because of the girls ongoing medical issues (which seem to put us in the hospital quite frequently), he was able to file for a medical exemption. What if I am in the hospital with one child....who is going to stay with the others? Just because he filed doesn't mean they will approve it. They have a big long process and they will review his case and I guess decide if he is needed more there or at home with us. I'm not sure how I would do this by myself. Only God will get me through. And my unbelievable support system which I was reminded of after my last post.

Robbie is torn. Part of him wants to step up and serve his country and do his part. The other part makes him want to vomit thinking about being away from us that long. Once again, I can't even imagine how he must be feeling.

Like I said in the last post, so much is in the air right now. To be quite honest, I probably would already be homeschooling the older two if this was not in the equation. We are not happy at all with where they are but I don't want to change that and then another big change occur....and then another....and so on.

I don't even know how to pray right now, would you please step in and pray for us? Only God knows the perfect plan for us and I just pray His will be done.