Things a parent should never hear, see or have to deal with

We decided after a month of debating, that is was time to tell the kids that their future might be changing very quickly. They have gone through so many changes that Robbie and I didn't want to worry them with a possible deployment if it wasn't going to happen. Well, every day comes....and then goes....and still no word. We were told that we would know something FOR SURE by the 25th, but after Robbie had this conversation with someone in HR, I knew we wouldn't hear by the 25th....

HR: 'Yea, we need your blah-blah-blah form faxed to us.'

Husband: 'OK, do you have any idea when I will know one way or another?'

HR: 'Um, you should know in the next two weeks...'

Husband: 'Um, Ma'am, I am scheduled to leave in 10 days!'

HR: 'Oh OK, well....you have your ticket purchased, right? You need to make sure you have that done'.

At that point, I was willing to bet that come Oct. 4th we will not have heard one way or another and my Husband will be leaving us for a long period of time...to an unknown destination. I was just reading this post from Ashley's blog (whose Husband has been gone for 110 days) and I HATE that you can't talk about any of this stuff! I am like Ashley....I share things...probably TOO MUCH information and to have something that is 'off limits' is not going to be easy for me. I mean, I need to know where my Husband is going...he's my husband...and I need to know!

I have this image that will be forever etched in my mind. We decided to sit on the patio of Taco Cabana, which also happens to sit directly across the street from our beautiful church. I prayed the entire way there. I prayed the entire time Husband ordered the food and found the perfect spot. I couldn't eat. About that time, the church bells went off and it was the most beautiful reminder. At this point, I am officially scared to death. This whole situation is more real now that it has ever been. It is 6 PM on September 25th and we still know nothing. But as those church bells went off, I was reminded that He is faithful. Does this suck? Yes. Do I hate it? Yes. But I know He is going to get us through this....He has to! He would never put His children through anything that would not make us stronger in the end.

We put the conversation off for as long as we possibly could. I mean, how do you tell your 7, 5 & 2 year olds that your Daddy is about to leave and he will be gone so long that he will miss your next birthday, the next Christmas, HECK....you will be in a different grade when he returns!...how do you come up with the right words? Husband just started and I don't even remember what he said. We used their Uncle Tory leaving as an example and you could see it is Kole's eyes...he knew we were going somewhere with this.

I will never forget his little chin quivering. He started to ask a question and got choked up...so he stopped and said, 'nevermind'. Our little 7-year-old was trying to be tough. A Mother and Father should never have to see their little boy trying to be tough with information that an adult can't even process!

I truly thought I would hold it together. After all, I have cried way too much to have any tears left. But, you should never have to see your seven year old boy trying his best to hold back tears. Your five year old daughter rubbing her daddy's hand saying, 'it's going to be OK Daddy, don't cry'.

There was a lot of silence. A lot of tears. And then every once in a while a question.

'So, I will be in 3rd grade when you get back?'

'So, you won't see me finish football or play baseball?'

After so much silence, questions and tears we needed to head home. Kole and Husband slept together last night on the couch...they needed to be close to one another. It is going to be hardest on Kole. Please start praying now for him. He is different since we told them last night...how could he not be?! Please pray for him every time you think of him. And pray that I know how to be sensitive to his needs.

I will say that it does feel better to get it out there....I think a weight has been lifted off of our shoulders. Now we just wait.

I can't thank you all enough...all of your emails, comments, phone calls, texts...THANK YOU. I was surprised at how many of you remembered that we were supposed to find out yesterday! I promise I will pass word along when we know, but thank you for your constant prayers. Again, please say extra prayers for Kole and Robbie. Husband is really struggling with leaving his only son behind at such a young age where he 'gets' it (I can't even imagine!). Thank you again, dear friends for your prayers and support.